ashtanga yoga

Suryanamaskar B

suryanamaskar_B_07

Today's model is GI Joe 8 Inch Commando Duke. Duke is an ass-kicking G.I. Joe of recent vintage, belonging to the Sigma 6 series of covert operatives along with his frighteningly detailed buddies Storm Shadow, Heavy Duty, Snake Eyes, Spirit Iron Knife, and Tunnel Rat. Duke is the only one with the balls to do yoga, though, and we are pleased to have him demonstrate this sun salutation series for us. Samasthitih! suryanamaskar_B_00 Do not fuck with Duke. He has removed his weapons from their holsters while in the shala but he will pop your eyes out with his overdeveloped thumbs if you unroll your mat with a disrespectful snap.

Ekam! suryanamaskar_B_01 Nice squat, Duke. Those bulky shoulders come in handy for balancing grenade launchers but they make utkatasana kind of a challenge.

Dve! suryanamaskar_B_02 Here Duke is getting an assist for his forward bend from Orangehead Krybot, formerly a nemesis of the Power Rangers S.P.D. but then he went through some teacher training and now he's thinking about opening his own yoga studio in Ventura.

Trini! suryanamaskar_B_03 Unlike the majority of plastic action figures, Duke can actually arch his back and raise his head somewhat. Orange Krybot is helpfully keeping Duke balanced until his hips open up a little more.

Chatvari! suryanamaskar_B_04 Dude has a strong jump back. Tough about the perenially clenched hands, but we do what we can. Remember, Duke, "posture is mastered by freeing the body and mind from tension and restlessness and meditating on the infinite." That's some yogic wisdom, right there. Now, try breathing into your fingers.

Panca! suryanamaskar_B_05 Nice lift in your updog, fella, and you appear to have the correct drishti. Which is kind of creepy because I didn't think your eyes could move.

Shat! suryanamaskar_B_06 Keep working your heels down to the floor.

Sapta! suryanamaskar_B_07 I'm just astonished by the size of your forearms.

Ashtau suryanamaskar_B_08 And the fact that you can do chaturanga balanced on a fingernail and one knuckle.

Nava! suryanamaskar_B_09 And don't even get me started on your hair.

Dasa! suryanamaskar_B_10 Are you trying to balance on your fists? You have to have fists to do that, brah.

Ekadasa! suryanamaskar_B_11 Did you take that master class with Paul Taylor last time he was through? Because there's something really expressive going on with your hips here and I just love it.

Dvadasa! suryanamaskar_B_12 Are you doing anything after class?

Trayodasa! suryanamaskar_B_13 We could get a chai somewhere.

Chaturdasa! suryanamaskar_B_14 I have a great view of the Channel Islands from my deck and my roommate's out of town.

Pancadasa! suryanamaskar_B_15 Inhale, head up!

Sodasa! suryanamaskar_B_16 Exhale, and, uh, Krybot? I think Duke's trying to tell you that he's had enough adjustment for now.

Saptadasa! suryanamaskar_B_17 Utkatasana! Inhale up and my God, those calves of yours.

Samasthitih! suryanamaskar_B_18 Thanks, Duke. Come back anytime. I've got some other poses I'd like you to demonstrate for me.